The Musicals.Net Saga

Musicals Dot Net Farm: a Parable

This is a pastiche of Animal Farm that I wrote exposing the ugly truth of how the moderators of Musicals.Net misused their powers and transformed the site into the funereal place it is today. The piece ends with a call to action, which those left are too tired, too frightened or too apathetic to answer.

Sally, the old boar on the Musicals Dot Net farm, calls the animals together for a meeting, where she calls the farm a parasite and announces that she will appoint younger pigs as moderators to help complete the day-to-day jobs around the site. When Sally mysteriously disappears three days later, the younger pigs, including Carbucketty, Aimee, Mumsytype and Set_Buildin_Dad, assume command.

The Commandments of Musicalism are written up. These will apply in equal measure to everyone on the site.

Carbucketty attempts to teach the animals reading and writing; food is plentiful, and the farm runs smoothly. Other animals on the farm such as Hans, Elliott, Enrique, Canadian Drama Geek, Alex, Jack, Dawn, Aleksander, Dan, Brother Marvin, David A, Daniel C, Matthew, Ciaron, RainbowJude and some others contribute to life on the farm in no small measure.

Meanwhile, the younger pigs elevate themselves to positions of leadership and start to apply only some of the Commandments, ostensibly for their personal health, but more so for their own convenience and to cater to animals on the farm that disinterested in the farming. Mumsytype takes some of these pups and trains them privately. When people try to point out that the younger pigs are only applying some of the rules or that the younger pigs are performing injustices or that the younger pigs should be held accountable for their actions, these result in battles that are won by the younger pigs through a magical form of banishment. In this way, the committee of pigs gains control over Musicals Dot Net farm. Carbucketty also mysteriously disappears in the same way Sally did, along with the other moderators who are too spineless to stand up to the dominant younger pigs, leaving the farm even more vulnerable to the abuse of the younger pigs.

Using Set_Buildin_Dad as a “mouthpiece”, Mumsytype and Aimee begin purging the farm, killing animals he accuses of breaking the commandments. Set_Buildin_Dad takes up a the maxim: “Mumsytype is always right” and sacrifices his last ounce of sensibility to moderation mania. The younger pigs abuse their powers, making life harder for the animals; the pigs impose more control while reserving privileges for themselves. The pigs rewrite history, deleting posts at will. Set_Buildin_Dad, Mumsytype and Aimee justify every move the other makes, even the pigs’ alteration of the way that the Commandments should be applied. The farm begins to be less and less fertile. A huge storm destroys the buildings and although some of the harvest can be saved, this is simply discarded as new buildings are produced.

References to Sally’s vision of the farm as a musical theatre resource for all are banned as inappropriate, as according to Mumsytype the dream of Musicals Dot Net Farm has been realised. It is replaced by an anthem glorifying the younger pigs, who appears to be adopting the lifestyle of farmowner. In this song, the chief sentiment is how the younger pigs should be praised for removing some of the weeds that now frequently pop up on the farm thanks to the lack of actual farming that has taken place there. Some of the animals , though they dislike the weeds propagated by salesmen called spambots, remain convinced that they are better off than they were before. Mumsytype abuses the animals’ poor memories and invents numbers to show their improvement, leaving any significant point in regard to how fertile the land was before.

Time passes, and the pigs learn to walk upright, carry whips and wear clothes. The Commandment are reduced to a single phrase: “All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others”. The younger pigs hold a dinner party, where they congratulate themselves on being the hardest-working animals in the country.

The animals, as they become aware of these conversations, realise that Musicals Dot Net farm needs to be taken back from these pigs. The time for that is now. The place is here.

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